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*music*

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*startsound of an old mac (G3 or so)*

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*laughter and applause*

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*electronic music*

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*applause*

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Carina: Welcome

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Linus: to 32c3

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*applause*

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Congratulations!

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You have obtained access privileges to this
community event.

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Gated communities are the leading model of
our societies

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We all have seen and experienced them before,
from the outside.

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Communities that wouldn't let us in.

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Communities that wouldn't accept us as who
we are.

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Communities that would exercise their power
over us.

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But we have overcome

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we didn't even mean to do so

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we probably didn't even realize it at first

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but when we build our own first gated communities

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we came to enjoy their advantages

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insurmountable borders keep out what we don't
know and hence fear

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strong leaders and simple rules relieve us
of the burden of thinking for ourselves

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and we're shielded from the reverse side of
our wealth, waste and wastefulness

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with all of us being the same there is no
inequality anymore

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Or is there?

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With all of us having the same opinions
and beliefs

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there is no dissent anymore.

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Or is there?

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Carina: And of course we like living in communities.

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Living in the community is like living in
one of those bottles

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they contain perfect little worlds.

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Where everything fits together

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and everybody shares the same philosophy

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and if you look outside,

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the bottle glass distorts your view

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and what you see looks strange

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and might even scare you

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so you decide to stay inside

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where it's comfy and safe and really really
boring.

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we need to break the safety glass

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there is so much out there to discover

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there are new adventures waiting for us

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new challenges to be mastered together

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and new experiences waiting to be made.

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this is what being a hacker, being a nerd

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and being at Congress is about

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to make new experiences

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to start new challenges

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and to learn something new.

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Linus: So let us hereby release some steam

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from the density and narrowness of our bottles.

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*electronic rumbling and champagner cork popping sound*

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And let us raise our glasses to the success

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of the chaos expansion strategy.

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*laughing*
*applause*

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the chaos mentors have been opening gates
ever since 30c3

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this year we have 42 mentors

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and they are welcoming more than 200 mentees
this year

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and it's amazing!

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*applause*

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check out one of 
the introductions that we got

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and we got 200 of them

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but we picked this one

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because we liked it very much.

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Carina: So, I am a 50+ female but...

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*laughing*
*applause*

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Yes, I might look young for that.

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I am a 50+ female

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but ad-networks keep categorizing me as a
25-year-old computer enthusiast.

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At least they are not offering any
anti age products

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Linus: And the beauty of the chaos
mentoring program is,

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that most of the former mentees are now mentors
themselves

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and I think this is what would be called exponential
growth

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and that's usually a good thing.

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*laughing*

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So please welcome our chaos mentees!

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*applause*

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but our efforts for world domination are not
limited to Congress.

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The CMS project reaches out to schools to
indoctrinate newcomers

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and to recruit them as future hackers and
freedom fighters

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Thanks for their efforts

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*applause*

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speaking of freedom fighters

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many of you are engaged in the freifunk community

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and I am very happy to announce that
the freifunk community

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has equipped almost 100 refugee shelters

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with free wireless Internet access.

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Thank you guys!

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*applause*

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But what's all this infrastructure worth

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if it is not used to build sustainable
structures of empowerment.

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And many of you maybe know the
refugees emancipation project

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a team that builds Internet cafés in refugee
shelters

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and offers computer workshops
for the people living there

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for refugees by refugees

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and many of you have supported and donated
to refugees emancipation

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thank you for that

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*applause*

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Carina: This summer was a special summer
for a lot of us

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it was the summer of the camp

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we met in the middle of nowhere
to explore unknown territories

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and live just for a few days

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in our own perfect little world

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some of you live this every day

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and 27 local CCC chapters all of you
not only share the fruits of our work

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but also the work itself

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of course this is also true for Congress here.

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Over 1000 angels supported this Congress in
the last year.

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this year I am sure we will break this number

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*applause*

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angels are visitors like you and me

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they volunteer to do all the jobs which need
to be done to run Congress

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they help you at the infodesk

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they operate the cameras

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they serve you Tschunk at the bar

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and they even collect your empty Mate bottles

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they do whatever needs to be done

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even up to this moment

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angels already dedicated hundreds of hours
of work

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to create this amazing state
and this amazing space for us

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*applause*

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And if things don't go well for once

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maybe you have to wait in line

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always remember: at the end of the line

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an angel is working and he's working hard

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they are doing this for fun and not for profit

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so instead of complaining

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take the chance and thank them
for their amazing work

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*applause*

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and you can always offer a helping hand

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or even better become an angel yourself

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go online, sign up, and grab some shifts

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because Congress is a community event.

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Do not come here to consume but to contribute

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and to become a part of it

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just like a lot of people already are doing

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this results in the Congress as we know it

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with so much to explore

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Next to the amazing lecture program

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which I think most of you have already noticed

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there are assemblies where people from around
the world come

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and show their projects

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they invite you to play with their toys

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and to talk to them about what they have done

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also there are workshops which cover
all kinds of topics

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take part in one

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and learn something you haven't
even heard of

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or offer one yourself

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everybody knows something
or can do something, others don't

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information about workshops
and about Congress itself

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can be found online in the Wiki

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Linus: If you catch the Wiki
when it's not down

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*laughing*
*applause*

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create an off-line backup please
- we are looking for one ourselves

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*laughing*

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with Congress being a community event

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there is one thing that goes without saying

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but I think I need to repeat it once more

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leave your damn business at home

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*applause*

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I am sure your start-up is the next big thing

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and there is a lot of fancy people
to hire here

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and there is a trade fair for your amazing
business proposal

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every other week of the year

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but this is not one of them.

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*applause*

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Carina: speaking of your business:

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this year we changed the gender-based
binary concept of the bathrooms

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The majority of them is simply for everybody.

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But of course we also think about our minorities

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so if you can't handle the new more
fuzzy logic-concept

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there's still some classic gender-based bathrooms
for you available

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over the conference area.

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*applause*

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Speaking of bathrooms please wash
your hands regularly.

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*applause*

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viruses are a known threat to hacker conferences

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Linus: but not only viruses
can bring you hell!

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You are at an acute risk of resource extinction

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so please follow the 6-2-1 principle

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Get six hours of sleep, two proper meals,
and one shower

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- and that is per day!

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*applause*

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And also drink more water.

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you may have noticed this little logo
that we have here

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with this fancy animation

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and you have seen one before

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that had an even more fancy animation in it

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and I know there is a couple of
3-D printers around

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so speaking of new challenges I figured

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that might be one for you.

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with all that said

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please be excellent to each other

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become a part and not a consumer of this event

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and explore the things, people and ideas
you don't know yet

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Carina: let us together approach the new adventures
waiting for us

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let us together master new challenges

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and let us together make new experiences

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we have not even dreamed of

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let us together break the gates!

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*applause*
*electronic music*